Help Im on My Own Again Billie Eilish

"Today is October 18th, 2021. I'g 15. I'm 16.

I'yard 17. I'm 18.

I'm 19. I have 257,000.

I have 6.iii million.

forty.7 million.

67.5 million.

I accept 94.1 1000000 followers.

The most followed person that follows me

is Chloë Grace Moretz.

Katy Perry, maybe.

Justin Bieber. Ariana Grande.

Kylie Jenner. 275 million.

That's fashion also many followers, girl.

Merely cheers for post-obit me.

A picture of me and Charli CXX.

It'south a picture of me smiling.

When I first posted a picture of my blonde hair.

23,054,701.

Which is ridiculous.

Public? What is that? [laughs]

Well, I have not been in

at all since March 11th.

Before COVID at all, like I don't become in public anyway

but considering it's a complete disaster.

Gosh, that daughter was going through an identity crunch.

Oh, my gosh.

You tin can see it in my optics. I hateful, really.

The low bun? Delight.

What's going on?

My attitude used to be, "Well, I can't become out."

Y'all know, "I can't become hither. I can't go at that place."

And I used to just, similar not even exist able

to similar go to a park

or like go get food or go coffee.

It freaks me out.

In the last year, I take been opened up to it.

I experience grateful for that because existence able

to feel confident in stepping exterior

without a hat and a hood and glasses and a mask

and a jacket and doing this or whatever,

it'south and so much amend and you don't accept to live similar that.

And I realized that this year

that I don't accept to alive like that.

Per calendar week, if I am going to stuff,

information technology's like anywhere I go.

Merely if I'm similar beingness cautious

and similar not trying to be in everybody's faces,

that'southward like I can manage my mode around people

without them noticing, which is cool.

I didn't apply to be able to do that

'cause my pride was too huge.

I was similar, "I only want to be seen if I look similar myself."

And so I would like never to clothing anything normal.

And I would habiliment

full-on similar all of the jewelry that I owned.

And my hair is blonde now.

And then it's not like the simply person you lot've ever seen

with green hair walking by.

So who could it be out of the v people?

It'due south gotten a lot easier.

Simply if I become out, I mean, it's always gonna happen.

It's simply that I'yard, first of all, fine with it.

And I'grand very happy virtually it.

And too, I but know how to do it now.

Gauge me, please.

I don't. And so ane word, "fucking no".

It'due south my manner.

Billie Eilish parody is my style.

I'm and then much more open up to stuff now.

Then I guess I would say anything

goes.

Any is ane word. Matter is the 2d word.

And so goes Period.

I did that Vogue cover and it was a genre

that we were doing a shoot for.

It was an old kind of Hollywood lingerie

kind of a classic thing.

And it was supposed to be like a specific aesthetic

for a photoshoot.

And and then it was like Billie Eilish is a new style.

And and so people kept beingness like, "Wow, her new mode.

Similar, wow, information technology's so much ameliorate than the one-time mode."

Or similar, "Wow, I wish that we could have her old style dorsum.

I'1000 and so sad that she'southward just changed into this."

And it was so weird 'cause I was like,

"Information technology's not a new mode. Information technology's one thing I wore.

And then I'm gonna wear this another twenty-four hours

and so I'm gonna do this."

And literally, the thing that I've been preaching virtually

since I first started is

habiliment what you want, dress how you desire,

act how yous want, talk how you want, be how you want.

That'due south all I've ever said.

It's only being open to new things and non, you know,

letting people ruin it for you.

I am, for sure, a billion times more confident

then both of those years.

I feel similar I'm probably the most confident

I've ever been in my life.

Information technology'due south true.

Yeah, no, nothing will ever height that 2022 ego. [scoffs]

I was feeling myself. That is for sure.

Information technology's considering I had been then miserable for so long

that I finally wasn't and I just never shut up virtually it.

But I've been good. I've been good.

I mean, I'g starting to accept similar adulthood,

which is new for me

and very exciting and I have had new experiences

and new people and lots of love.

I don't experience. Lying. I do.

Yes.Yes.

Uh, Yeah.

But I don't fucking intendance. I don't intendance.

Like it's like, it's the kind of pressure level-

Likewise lying.

Like information technology hits me and then I don't care.

Like I know and similar it'southward in my brain

that people expect a lot from me

and that they expect this and they want me to exercise this.

This is merely me trying to convince myself

that I didn't care.

Every unmarried ane. Every single one.

I know that I cared and I was just literally coming up

with some stupid quote that would make me pretend

that I didn't care.

lxxx,000 people are way easier

than performing in front of eight people.

That'south truthful.

I used to be only filled with these

like inspirational quotes,

but like ready to get all the time

that I didn't even agree with most of the time.

Kind of crazy.

Every time I run across an interview from that menstruation

when I was like 16, I'thousand similar,

everything I said was so stupid.

Like non even stupid.

It just was similar not what I was thinking.

I was thinking, "I'm overwhelmed. I detest this.

Everybody expects something from me.

I don't accept anything to give them.

I fucking suck.

My jewelry is absurd.

I want tattoos. I desire a car."

That'southward all I was thinking.

Like I was non thinking that stuff.

I feel a lot of force per unit area, but I also would say like,

back then, I was more loved.

I was pretty, overall, similar honey, I would say,

to be honest.

Then, I was like scared

'cause I wanted to continue that honey.

And now, similar tons of people hate me,

and so I'm non worried anymore.

I'k similar, "Oh, okay, well...

If you like me, you like me.

If yous don't, you don't, so..."

In that location are things that I regret,

but I don't know if I would change them

because everything that happened that I regret

like fabricated me the mode I am.

And like, everybody says that and it'southward pretty platitude,

only it's pretty true.

So I don't know.

I feel like every state of affairs that I've been in

where, you know, perhaps I wasn't being the all-time that I could,

I think I learned from it.

Come across...

One of those...

But another ane of those stupid footling,

"Oh, I'm really smart and I know."

of course, I had a regret, dude.

Don't be and then sad. It's such a waste of fourth dimension.

Don't mail everything you think.

This poor kid.

Oh, my gosh.

Don't accept annihilation for granted.

Don't e'er come off phase during this year

and call back, "Ah, I didn't like that prove.

I didn't really..." Nope.

Nope.

And by the way, I'm never doing that over again.

When shows are allowed,

every show is gonna be the best show I've ever washed.

Oh, boy. Practise you know what's funny?

Information technology's and then funny how fast we get used to things.

It's kind of scary 'crusade yous think, you know,

when yous don't have something, you think like,

"Oh, my God, when I take that in forepart of me,

I'm not even gonna get used to it.

It's gonna be so heady and new."

And it'southward heady for like 2 seconds and so it's not.

And it's super weird.

I don't hateful shows. I just mean everything in general.

It takes one second to get used to stuff

because that'south what nosotros're meant to do is adapt.

I wish that I could tell you that yr ago Billie

because the boy was I suffering not playing shows

and not seeing fans in real life

and, you know, existence able to be with them for real

and not through a screen.

And then information technology's been astonishing, but it'south so crazy how fast

I only like picked it all right dorsum upwards, you know?

I feel similar everything is permanent all the time.

And it's non things go in waves and things happen

and things stop so they start and information technology'southward like,

you simply take no idea what's to come ever.

And I call up, only effort to be enlightened

of the amazing things you take going on

right in the moment instead of later

because even though then,

you know, I felt like a twelvemonth ago now,

similar zip was expert and I had nix I liked to practise

and there was cypher that was...

And there were so many things that now I look back

and I'm like, "Ah, that was absurd."

And it's just so weird that we don't realize

what'south in forepart of us at all until it's not.

Information technology's very weird.

My family. I'one thousand always talking to my family unit.

Always. Every second of my life.

My mom and dad still come on tour with me.

Finneas still comes on tour with me every twenty-four hours.

Pretty much every day.

Nosotros're always together, e'er talking,

e'er, y'all know, whatever.

It's smashing. I love my family.

I am so lucky to accept my family unit right at present.

Both of my parents every day, for certain.

I hateful, I guess some days go past when I don't,

but pretty much every single twenty-four hour period.

And like Finneas, pretty much every mean solar day.

Again, some days go past right now.

But my family is however just equally involved

as they have always been in all the good ways.

I love my family dearly.

Fruitvale Station.

Information technology'll always exist up there.

But I recently saw a movie chosen "I Origins"

which was and then, then good.

I had no idea what it was and I but...

Finneas showed it to me randomly in the airport.

And I merely, it was amazing.

V Grammys.

One, 2, three, four,

v.

Six, seven.

Performed at the Oscars,

met like every celebrity that's e'er existed.

And information technology was the nigh overwhelming, insane, surreal thing

I've e'er experienced.

I went to the BRITs. I won a BRIT.

It was amazing. I performed.

We recorded the "Bond" theme song

and worked with Hans Zimmer and the orchestra to record it.

Completely surreal and amazing.

Gosh, it's been a crazy couple of years, human being.

I made an anthology.

I put out an album. I did go two more Grammys.

The documentary came out. That was terrifying.

I went to the "Bond" premiere in London, which was amazing.

I've never seen something and then crazy. I met the royal family unit.

I put out a book. I did an Amazon special.

I put out a moving-picture show with Disney

which was called "A Dear Letter to Los Angeles"

which was amazing.

I'm launching a fragrance

which is the most exciting thing for me.

No disrespect to all the other things I've achieved,

but that's very exciting.

I was a host at the Met Gala

which was an unbelievable

opportunity thing I got to do.

And I wore a large, beautiful dress made by Oscar de la Renta,

who I said at the beginning of the conversation

of "Let's make a Met Gala dress",

"Y'all accept to stop using fur

because if you don't, I am not working with you."

That was likewise thanks to my mom for being with me on that one

and fighting for it with me.

Then I got Oscar de la Renta to stop using fur completely.

And that was a large, big matter for me.

And I hope that more brands

follow along with existence environmentally conscious

and try to help the world instead of making information technology worse.

So, yeah.

The shows are the one matter that I feel like

I've e'er been good at.

I know that sounds stupid,

but it'due south like the only affair I've e'er washed

that made me feel like I belonged.

Keeping my family safety and,

you know, staying upward.

Beautiful thing to say.

I 2d that, for sure.

I was just falling apart,

non being able to do shows because they are the thing

that makes me experience the all-time that I am.

It feels like the best that I tin be when I'm on stage.

And getting to do that over again, I was like rewound

like I'm a music box,

that I tin can be in a bad mood earlier a show

so come off stage and I'thou completely rejuvenated.

It like winds me upwardly. It'due south crazy.

So, yeah, I agree with that ane.

I've had some conversations with Bieber about this.

Ariana has been absurd about stuff.

Even like Katy Perry told me

that I could reach out to her whenever.

Gaga has said it to me earlier.

It'southward, yous know, it'southward prissy to hear from people

that like have gone through this and know what it's like.

I guess I turned to my mom, honestly

the well-nigh in this period.

I feel like no matter all the people that have, you know,

similar things that I've been through

or have like lifestyles or take,

you know, advice to give,

I feel like my mom still beats them all. [chuckles]

Even though she's new to this just as I am,

yous know, significant fame and this kind of world.

But my mom has a very good way of looking at the world

and she'due south the master person that I get to

and similar literally, like the almost the merely person.

And then, my mom.

Face recognition. Like at that place's no dwelling house button.

What the heck?

They've made monograms crazy.

What the hell is a monogram?

A hologram is what I meant.

Information technology's crazy that you tin can charge your phone

by similar putting information technology on that petty disc.

Robots doing stuff.

The vaccine, dude. Hell fucking yep.

I urge you lot.

If you are not already vaccinated, delight get vaccinated.

Information technology'south not simply for you, you selfish bitch.

It's for everyone around you lot.

Take care of the people around y'all, man.

Protect your friends, protect your children,

protect your grandparents, protect anyone yous walk by.

Brockhampton.

Tierra Whack is sick.

My favorite artist is Tekno.

I've been loving some Arlo Parks.

My favorite artist at the moment is The Dø

who similar changed my life and perspective on music.

Last twelvemonth, it was similar i of their albums...

I recollect they simply have ii albums.

One is called "A Mouthful"

and one is called "Shake Shook Shaken".

"Shake Shook Shaken" was my main source of inspiration

during the making of the Happier Than E'er" the anthology.

Final year, all summer, I would simply listen to information technology

to and from Finneas' house when we would brand the anthology

and so I'd drive around and I'd go pond

and I'd play it.

And it similar changed my life, that album, and it still does.

And "A Mouthful" has also changed my life as of this week.

My brother'south my best friend.

My brother is my all-time friend.

My best friend is Finneas, but he is besides my brother.

We got Drew, we got Zoe, we got Laura, we got Shark.

Nosotros got my family, my brother.

Those are my best friends.

I got a lot of good friends.

Finneas is one of my best friends.

My mom, my dad, blank, blank,

blank, blank, blank, blank, bare

are my other best friends.

A tattoo, perhaps?

No confront tattoos.

The only tattoos I desire to get

are the ones that barely anyone could come across.

I did get a tattoo.

Simply you won't e'er run across it.

Lied again.

I accept three tattoos now.

I have i here that says "Eilish".

Yes, I love myself.

I have one here, big boy, which is a dragon.

And and so I just got this a few weeks ago

which is some fairies that are from a book

that I had growing up.

A picayune fairy book called "Fairyopolis".

They're similar my little guardian angel fairies.

I beloved tattoos.

My mom has her easily on her head.

Await at the way she'due south sitting.

Rude, mom! Be supportive.

And my mom hates tattoos.

No, I'k not gonna exist all tatted upwards,

but I, you know, have some more ideas.

Right now, I feel pretty satisfied.

I feel like in a good zone with them.

I felt the urge for a while.

And now I'thousand like, "Ah."

Give me a niggling more than time and and so I'll become another one.

Merely I got the dragon right later last year's.

All I had, the final 1 was this little guy.

Soda did this one. Lucy did this one.

The dragon did this one.

Astonishing people.

The first thing that came to mind is

when my anxiety are shut to the bottom of the bed.

That'due south the scariest office of my 24-hour interval every day.

I bound from similar two anxiety away from my bed

onto the bed.

And if my feet are too close to the bottom under my bed,

I go,

Similar, I can't help myself. I gag.

It'southward disgusting. Information technology creeps me out.

Oh, information technology creeps me out and so much.

That'southward why like all the furniture at my house,

there's nothing underneath.

They all go to the ground.

I made that very, very clear.

When I was getting all my piece of furniture, I was like,

"Delight don't get annihilation with infinite underneath."

So all my chairs, my couches, my bed frame,

it all goes all the way to the basis.

There's no storage.

I don't... I would rather lose the storage infinite

under my bed than have to stride next to the bottom of my bed.

You did enquire.

I don't get scared of like scary things, you know?

Similar I had a huge Anaconda.

It almost choked me to death.

That was then much fun.

So much fun.

I guess that...

What is the scariest matter I've e'er washed?

Fallen in love.

What?

My relationships bring me a lot of joy.

Bads bring me a lot of joy.

Like the things that similar just automatically bring me joy

are rain and clouds

and similar mist and fog.

Like these things are... They but...

I feel happy.

I have the seasonal affective disorder merely the opposite

where I am so happy in gloomy weather condition

and I am pretty miserable in hot, sunny, blue sky weather.

Very seriously.

I find myself pretty depressed in the summer

simply because of the atmospheric condition

and other things but just that'south initially the affair.

Yes.

Being on stage makes me feel incredibly powerful.

There's a part in my evidence where I get on a lift

that similar takes me over the oversupply

and I like to lean over the edge and await downwardly.

And that is a kind of power that no ane should feel.

Whoosh. Information technology makes me feel invincible.

It's crazy.

I don't know. Clothing?

Like clothing makes you lot experience powerful

and information technology can besides brand you feel very, very weak.

So that'southward a big thing.

Little things, man.

Ooh. Do I experience grown-up?

For the most part, aye.

I feel similar I've felt very grown-up this year.

And I like information technology. I like growing up a lot.

I loved being immature and I still am young,

but I loved being a teenager.

And I kind of have e'er dreaded growing up

and getting older

and it'southward always been really scary to me,

but I've enjoyed the hell out of information technology.

I dear information technology.

I love being able to do things on my own

and have my freedom and my own choices

and my ain,

you know, correct to things.

It's very exciting.

My mommy, come up hither.

This is my mom. She is sick every bit a booty.

- I don't heed. I tin stay here that long.

I love you.

- I love y'all as well.

- Howdy, baby.

- His grandma.

- I love you lot then much.

♪ I love you and then much ♪

- Come up here.

Join me.

- I dear you, Billie.

- My sweetness momma.

Love yous dearly.

We don't have the idiot dog with u.s. this twelvemonth.

- I dearest watching y'all do this every year.

- He's at home farting,

stinking upward the grand.

Love you too.

Love you.

- Funny.

You're funny.

- Peace!"

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Source: https://bignews0099.blogspot.com/2022/04/billie-eilish-real-life-untold-story-by.html

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